Nip/Tuck

I haven't had plastic surgery yet because I don't need it. But as far as I'm concerned, it's inevitable. I once told a friend: "My biggest fear in life is not being able to afford Botox". And I meant it. Considering how cheap Botox is these days, this is not a fear to be ashamed of. It would mean I was really, really poor. But should I be ashamed of the fact that the thought of having wrinkles and not being able to do anything about them is completely horrifying? I think some people would say yes. I'm sure my mother would tout some nonsense about aging gracefully. But in this day and age, people are living so fucking long, and yet aging at the same rate. It's not right! Luckily; technology and medicine have evolved so that we can intervene and spend the same percentage of our lives looking decent as we did when we were dying at say, 40. So why wouldn't you do it? I think it's great. Don't get me wrong; you can't get through a gossip magazine without coming across an example of someone who went overboard under the knife; but this kind of proactive vanity is so underrated.


Now, you really can't go around saying that kind of shit without sounding like a douchebag. That's why I was so happy to stumble across this article Judith Newman wrote for Marie Claire. Inspired by her own recent liposuction, and the motives behind it ("I work for magazines, where the average editor's age is about 12 and getting younger - one day I expect to walk into a meeting full of fetuses - and where appearances clearly count.") Newman delves into the motives of others who have "had some work". A huge percentage of them were driven by a desire to succeed in the workplace. Facts, stats, and testimonials reveal that looks count where it counts - and they're well worth investing in. Studies show that physically attractive people tend to be more popular, more persuasive, and have greater self-esteem. Attractiveness has been linked to the likelihood of obtaining a job, obtaining a more prestigous job, and being hired at a higher salary.

Not being attractive (or at least feeling attractive) is as detrimental as being attractive is beneficial. A recent study reported that 67% of women ages 15-64 "withdraw from life engaging activities due to feeling badly about their looks." What activities, you ask? Among the "activities" listed are going to school, visiting the doctor, and speaking ones mind.

So if you can squash your self hate with a little help from a scalpel (and speak your mind without obsessing about your nose), what's the harm? I know I sound like a proponent of our looks obsessed culture. But everyone knows being fat and ugly sucks. Our culture is what it is. Maybe someday it will change; maybe you will change it. But it's a lot easier to change the size of your ass.